Natalie Bymaster running for the wrong cause
Depression Bipolar Alliance – When I was running the wrong race.

Today I was reflecting back at the time when I was an advocate for psychology.  A few months ago, I bookmarked a blog I wrote for NAMI in February 2010.  I went back and thoroughly read it today. 

Here is the link if you would like to check it out.

The blog was about a depressed woman (me) that used running as her “medicine.”  In the blog the conclusion states, “I have my passion, my best friend, my worst enemy, my (free) therapist, and my strongest medication back and I know that I am a runner.”

Although the blog was probably inspirational to many people, it made me think about the center of my life.  It made me think about how drastically my central focus has changed.

In 2010, running was the center of all things to me.  My life revolved around it.  I was constantly planning and plotting out my runs to the exact mileage.  I would wake up before 5:00 am to get my miles in for the day.  I registered for multiple races each year.  Personal records were my highest priority.  I proclaimed the good news, “I was running and I was happy.”

But, was I really happy?

Not at all.

Underneath my small runner’s frame and that smile at the finish line, I was empty.  I had no purpose in life.  I was alone.  I was afraid.  I was only passing the time until my life was over.

Today my life is very different.  I have purpose to my life.  I am no longer alone or afraid.  I no longer rely on a sport or a hobby to be the center of my life. 

You might ask what changed?

The most significant change is that I chose to make Jesus the center of my life.   I built a brand-new life on the Rock.

“The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliver; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” Psalms 18:2

Let me pose this question to you:  Is Jesus the center of your life?